Many people feel uncertain about how to interact with someone experiencing homelessness. Should you make eye contact? Offer money? Engage in conversation? This uncertainty can lead to avoidance or interactions that, despite good intentions, may feel dehumanizing. This article provides guidance on respectful interactions that acknowledge shared humanity and individual dignity.
Core Principles for Respectful Interaction
Before diving into specific do's and don'ts, consider these foundational principles:
Recognize Shared Humanity
The most important principle is to recognize that people experiencing homelessness are people first—individuals with the same fundamental needs, rights, and desire for respect as anyone else:
- People experiencing homelessness are not a monolithic group but individuals with diverse backgrounds, stories, and circumstances
- Homelessness is a situation someone is experiencing, not an identity or defining characteristic
- Each person has inherent dignity regardless of their housing status
- The golden rule applies: interact with others as you would want to be treated
Perspective Shift
When you encounter someone experiencing homelessness, try mentally replacing the thought "there's a homeless person" with "there's a person who doesn't have housing right now." This small shift helps maintain focus on the person rather than their housing situation.
Respect Agency and Autonomy
People experiencing homelessness have the right to make their own choices:
- Avoid assumptions about what someone needs or wants
- Respect decisions even when they differ from what you might choose
- Recognize that people are experts on their own lives
- Understand that refusing help doesn't mean someone is ungrateful
Acknowledge Power Dynamics
Interactions between housed and unhoused people involve inherent power imbalances:
- Be aware of the privileges that come with having stable housing
- Recognize how societal stigma affects interactions
- Consider how your actions might be perceived given these dynamics
- Work to create interactions based on mutual respect rather than charity
Everyday Interactions: Do's and Don'ts
Here are specific guidelines for common situations:
Basic Acknowledgment
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Make eye contact and offer a greeting if appropriate | Stare, gawk, or pointedly look away |
| Acknowledge someone's presence with a nod or hello | Pretend not to see someone or cross the street to avoid them |
| Respond politely if someone speaks to you | Ignore someone who speaks to you respectfully |
| Respect someone's space and privacy | Intrude on someone's personal space or belongings |
Remember that simple acknowledgment is often appreciated. Many people experiencing homelessness report feeling invisible or deliberately ignored, which compounds the isolation of homelessness.
Responding to Requests for Money
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Decide in advance your personal policy on giving | Make up excuses or false promises ("I'll be back") |
| Respond with respect regardless of your decision | Lecture, judge, or make assumptions about how money will be used |
| Give without strings if you choose to give | Demand to know how your money will be spent |
| Consider alternatives like offering food if welcomed | Force unwanted items on someone |
A Note on Giving
Whether to give money is a personal decision. Some people have a policy of always giving when asked, others never give directly, and many decide case by case. What matters most is treating the person with dignity regardless of your decision. If you choose not to give money, a simple "I'm sorry, I can't help with that today" is respectful.
Conversation and Engagement
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Engage in conversation if it seems welcome | Force conversation on someone who seems uninterested |
| Listen more than you speak | Dominate the conversation or interrogate |
| Talk about normal, everyday topics | Focus exclusively on the person's housing situation |
| Respect boundaries if someone doesn't want to talk | Take photos without permission |
Genuine conversation can be a meaningful form of connection. Many people experiencing homelessness value being treated as regular community members rather than objects of charity or pity.
Offering Help
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Ask if someone would like help before providing it | Assume you know what someone needs |
| Offer specific assistance ("Would you like this sandwich?") | Make vague offers ("Let me know if you need anything") |
| Provide information about local resources if appropriate | Pressure someone to use services they're not interested in |
| Accept refusals gracefully | Take offense if your offer is declined |
Remember that people experiencing homelessness often have complex reasons for their decisions. Someone might decline shelter because it's unsafe for them, doesn't allow pets, separates them from a partner, or has rules that conflict with work schedules.
Challenging Situations
Some interactions present particular challenges:
When Someone Appears to Be in Crisis
- Do: Assess whether emergency services are needed
- Do: Ask directly, "Are you okay? Do you need medical help?"
- Do: Call non-police crisis response teams if available in your area
- Don't: Assume intoxication or mental illness based on appearance
- Don't: Call police for non-emergency situations like someone simply existing in public space
Many communities now have specialized teams that respond to behavioral health crises without law enforcement involvement. Research what's available in your area before you need it.
When You Feel Unsafe
- Do: Trust your instincts about your personal safety
- Do: Remove yourself calmly from situations that feel threatening
- Do: Distinguish between actual threats and discomfort with difference
- Don't: Assume someone is dangerous based solely on their housing status
- Don't: React with hostility or aggression
Safety vs. Discomfort
It's important to distinguish between feeling unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Discomfort often comes from unfamiliarity or internalized biases, while genuine safety concerns involve specific threatening behaviors. People experiencing homelessness are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.
When Children Ask Questions
- Do: Answer honestly in age-appropriate ways
- Do: Emphasize that homelessness is about lacking housing, not personal worth
- Do: Focus on systemic issues rather than individual blame
- Don't: Ignore questions or express disgust
- Don't: Use someone's situation as a threat ("This is what happens if you don't work hard")
Children often ask direct questions about homelessness. These moments are opportunities to model compassion and teach about social issues in ways that don't dehumanize people experiencing homelessness.
Language and Communication
How we speak about homelessness matters, both in direct interactions and when discussing the issue more broadly:
Person-First Language
| Say This | Instead Of |
|---|---|
| Person experiencing homelessness | Homeless person, the homeless |
| People living outside/unsheltered | Street people, vagrants |
| Encampment, outdoor community | Homeless camp, tent city |
| Person panhandling | Beggar, bum |
Person-first language emphasizes that homelessness is a circumstance, not an identity. It helps maintain focus on the whole person rather than reducing someone to their housing status.
Avoiding Stigmatizing Narratives
- Challenge assumptions about addiction, mental illness, or laziness as causes of homelessness
- Avoid language that criminalizes homelessness ("vagrant," "transient")
- Don't use homelessness as a metaphor for other concepts
- Be careful about sharing someone's story without permission
Building Meaningful Connections
Beyond basic interactions, consider ways to build more substantial connections:
Community Integration
- Support businesses that hire people exiting homelessness
- Attend community events that meaningfully include people of all housing statuses
- Advocate for public spaces and services that are welcoming to everyone
- Challenge exclusionary practices in your community groups
Relationship Building
Some people develop ongoing relationships with individuals experiencing homelessness in their neighborhood:
- Start with regular, respectful greetings
- Allow relationships to develop naturally over time
- Respect boundaries and privacy
- Recognize the relationship as reciprocal, not one-way charity
Authentic Connection
The most meaningful interactions come from genuine connection rather than a helper/helped dynamic. Look for common interests, shared experiences, or mutual aid rather than approaching relationships from a charity mindset.
Addressing Your Own Discomfort
Many people feel uncomfortable interacting with those experiencing homelessness. Addressing this discomfort is important:
- Examine Your Biases: Reflect on messages you've internalized about homelessness
- Educate Yourself: Learn about the structural causes of homelessness
- Start Small: Begin with simple acknowledgments and build from there
- Process Your Emotions: Discuss feelings of guilt, fear, or helplessness with others
- Take Action: Channel discomfort into meaningful advocacy and support
Conclusion
Respectful interactions with people experiencing homelessness begin with recognizing our shared humanity and the dignity inherent in every person. By approaching these interactions with respect for agency, awareness of power dynamics, and genuine openness, we can build a more inclusive community for everyone.
Remember that small actions matter. A moment of genuine acknowledgment can counter the dehumanization that often accompanies homelessness. At the same time, truly respectful interactions should be part of a broader commitment to addressing the systemic causes of homelessness through advocacy, policy change, and community action.
References & Further Reading
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. "SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach." SAMHSA, 2014. https://store.samhsa.gov/product/SAMHSA-s-Concept-of-Trauma-and-Guidance-for-a-Trauma-Informed-Approach/SMA14-4884
- National Alliance to End Homelessness. "What Can I Do to Help People Experiencing Homelessness?" NAEH, 2023. https://endhomelessness.org/what-can-i-do-to-help/
- National Health Care for the Homeless Council. "Engaging People with Lived Experience." NHCHC, 2020. https://nhchc.org/clinical-practice/homeless-services/
- Hopper, E.K., Bassuk, E.L., and Olivet, J. "Shelter from the Storm: Trauma-Informed Care in Homelessness Services Settings." The Open Health Services and Policy Journal, vol. 3, 2010, pp. 80-100. https://doi.org/10.2174/1874924001003020080
- National Coalition for the Homeless. "How You Can Help." NCH, 2023. https://nationalhomeless.org/references/how-you-can-help/
- Tsemberis, S. "Housing First: The Pathways Model to End Homelessness for People with Mental Illness and Addiction." Hazelden Publishing, 2010. https://www.pathwayshousingfirst.org/
- U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness. "Engaging People with Lived Experience of Homelessness." USICH, 2022. https://www.usich.gov/tools-for-action/engaging-people-with-lived-experience